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FidoNews · Vol 13, No 48 · 25 November 1996

     F I D O N E W S --       Volume 13, Number 48          25 November 1996
     +----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:          |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                            |
     |          _                 |        1-904-409-7040    [1:1/23]       |
     |         /  \               |                                         |
     |        /|oo \              |                                         |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                         |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                         |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor:                               |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |        Christopher Baker  1:18/14       |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                         |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                         |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                         |
     |             (jm)           |     Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER   |
     +----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+
     |               Submission address: FidoNews Editor 1:1/23             |
     +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
     |  MORE addresses:                                                     |
     |                                                                      |
     |    submissions=> cbaker84@digital.net                                |
     +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
     |    For  information,   copyrights,   article   submissions,          |
     |    obtaining copies of FidoNews or the internet gateway FAQ          |
     |    please refer to the end of this file.                             |
     +----------------------------------------------------------------------+


                HAPPY THANKSGIVING U.S. READERS!


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        A slow week in FidoNews  ..................................  1
     2. ARTICLES  .................................................  2
        An open letter to the developers of fido message reader  ..  2
     3. GETTING TECHNICAL  ........................................  4
        FTS-0006, The YooHoo Standard  ............................  4
     4. COORDINATORS CORNER  ...................................... 23
        Nodelist-statistics as seen from Zone-2 for day 327  ...... 23
     5. NET HUMOR  ................................................ 24
        Know your Unix admin  ..................................... 24
        Guide to Power Posting  ................................... 33
     6. COMIX IN ASCII  ........................................... 37
        Happy Thanksgiving America!  .............................. 37
     7. NOTICES  .................................................. 40
        Future History  ........................................... 40
     8. FIDONET SOFTWARE LISTING  ................................. 41
        Latest Greatest Software Versions  ........................ 41
     9. FIDONEWS PUBLIC-KEY  ...................................... 48
        This Space intentionally left blank?  ..................... 48
     10. FIDONEWS INFORMATION  .................................... 49
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 1                   25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


     This week's FTS Standard [0006] does not have a counterpart proposal
     to match. That saves a little space. [grin]

     Here in the U.S., we will be stuffing ourselves on Thursday in our
     annual Thanksgiving Day holiday. This generally involves a lot of
     roasted fowl and other foods nobody ever eats any other time of the
     year. This overeating is then followed by paroxisms of stomach pain
     from overindulging for an hour or two and then the Question of This
     Week will be:  "What's for dessert?" [snicker]

     Do other countries/cultures in FidoNetland [tm] have similar,
     near-bulemic festivals of family gathering and cooking? I'd like to
     read it about them in here next week. [hint, hint]

     C.B.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 2                   25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                                 ARTICLES
     =================================================================


     Suggestion of a new feature in message readers in form of an
     open letter to the developers
     by Jochen Tuchbreiter, 2:2457/620.22 | jobhunt@nether.net

     Fido is shrinking a little at the moment and many users/sysops think
     that one cause for this is that the software we are using is too old
     and not interesting anymore. While reading articles discussing this
     topic in some older fidonews issues I had the following idea, which
     could help a tiny bit to make fidonet a bit more comfortable. I made
     it an open letter to the developers of fido message readers.

     ------------------------ Mail starts ---------------------------
     Dear fido message reader developers !

     I have tested many fido message readers now and I have seen many
     features, most of them very helpful and nice. But there is one thing
     I missed and I am sure that many fido users would love it:

     -> A feature to list messages in an echomail-area by threads.

     I think of every thread as a 'folder' including answers to the same
     subject (and answers to these answers as long as it has the same
     subject - use reply-linking...).
     You could sort these folders by the date of the latest unread message
     in them, in this way the new and active threads (the threads with the
     new mail...) would always appear before the old ones. Every user could
     now just read the threads he is interested in and wouldn't get annoyed
     by messages which belong to threads he doesn't care about.
     I myself read messages in echos with lots of traffic by threads.
     Of course most readers are able to follow the reply linking, but if
     you keep using this in a long thread it gets kind of annoying and you
     do not have the overview anymore.

     So, if your message reader is already "perfect" and you don't know
     what feature to add next, please think of this suggestion.
     ------------------------ Mail ends --------------------------------

     All comments, critics etc. are welcome via netmail (2:2457/620.22) or
     in the fidonews (as long as they are for the interest of everyone).

     --VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE-VOTE--

     I would also like to know *your* (the readers) opinion of the new
     feature I suggested and if *you* would use it. To vote please send a
     netmail to 2:2457/620.22 including "yes" (you would use such a
     feature) or "no" (you would not use it) in the subject and an empty
     message body (to keep traffic caused by this low). I will post the
     results in one of the next issues...

     --VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE--VOTE-VOTE--

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 3                   25 Nov 1996


     Thanks for reading this, and thanks in advantage for *your* vote !
     ---


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 4                   25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                             GETTING TECHNICAL
     =================================================================


     [This is part of a continuing series of FidoNet Technical Standards
      being published here as part of FidoNet History and for general
      information. These standards have been reformatted where necessary
      to meet the 70 column restriction. 80 column tables are disrupted.
      You should file-request FTS-0006.ZIP for the full version which
      also contains YOOHOO.C source.] Ed.


     Document: FTS-0006
     Version:  002
     Date:     30-Nov-1991


                                 YOOHOO and YOOHOO/2U2

                         The netmail handshake used by Opus-CBCS
                  and other intelligent Fidonet mail handling packages


                                   Vince Perriello
                                  FidoNet 1:2343/491


     Status of this document:

          This FTS (FidoNet(r) Technical Standard) specifies an optional
          standard for the FidoNet community.  Implementation of the
          protocols defined in this document is not mandatory,  but all
          implementations of these protocols are expected to adhere to this
          standard.  Distribution of this document is subject to the
          restrictions listed below.

          Fido and FidoNet are registered marks of Tom Jennings and Fido
          Software




     LEGAL STUFF
     -----------

     The original  protocol and documentation are by Wynn Wagner III.
     Updates have  been  made  to  this  document  by  Vince Perriello,
     who  also is responsible for most of the sample routine included with
     this document.

     They are  released to the  public for  any use  whatsoever as long as
     you don't  modify any  transmitted  structure  or try to  make money
     hawking either the sample code or this document as if you owned them.

     If you choose to use the  method  or  the  sample  routines,  you  do
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 5                   25 Nov 1996


     so entirely at your own risk.  It  is  possible that the routines will
     cause physical damage to your equipment, an invasion of  fire ants,
     the plague, or an extended visit from in-laws.  If any  of  that
     stuff  (or anything else) happens, you accept the consequences
     totally.


     CREDITS
     -------

     Fido  and  Fidonet  are  registered  trademarks of Tom Jennings and
     Fido Software.

     ARCmail was originated by System Enhancement Associates.

     The ZModem protocol was designed by Chuck Forsberg. The SEAlink /
     SEAlink Overdrive protocols are copyrighted by System Enhancment
     Associates.  The TeLink protocol was designed and first implemented by
     Tom Jennings.

     The state charts in this document were done by Vince Perriello.

     Rick Huebner designed  and  implemented  the  basic  WaZOO  file
     request method.  Update  request functionality was added by Vince
     Perriello.  Bob Hartman is responsible for the addition of Domain
     support.

     FTS-0001, describing the base FidoNet protocol, was created by Randy
     Bush.

     FTS-0007, describing enhancement to FTS-0001 using SEAlink and/or
     SEAlink Overdrive, was created by Phil Becker.

     Overview

     UPFRONT
     -------

     YOOHOO and YOOHOO/2U2 are  the  initial  handshakes  for the WaZOO e-
     mail protocol.  They are designed to let two systems establish a
     common ground for a netmail session while making  sure  that non-WaZOO
     software doesn't get upset by material it can't understand.

     The YOOHOO procedure begins as a single  byte  (0xf1).   If the system
     on the other end doesn't reply to that byte,  no  further  YOOHOO  or
     WaZOO transmissions are attempted.  To a non-WaZOO netmail system,
     the  YOOHOO byte will simply seem like a byte of debris.

     The  calling  system  initiates  the  YOOHOO  by  sending  the
     attention character.   If the receiving system seems interested, the
     calling system sends a  128  byte packet containing such information
     as system and sysop names as well as a "capability mask." A 16-bit CRC
     protects the integrity of the 128-byte packet.

     In response, the receiving  system  prepares  a  128  byte packet to
     send back.  This is the YOOHOO/2U2 procedure.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 6                   25 Nov 1996


     FEATURES
     --------

     The features of YOOHOO and YOOHOO/2U2 include

           * non-interference with systems that don't understand the
             handshake

           * almost foolproof method for identifying a remote system
             and establishing a common ground for transmission

           * built-in room to expand the capabilities of WaZOO without
             having to resort to a kludge


     USAGE
     -----

     A calling system simply uses  a  routine  that  transmits both YooHoo
     and TSYNC  handshake initiating characters to the  called  system.
     If the called system responds with an XMODEM 'NAK',  an FTS-0001
     session will be initiated.  If an 'ENQ' is received, the
     `YooHoo_Sender()' routine will be invoked to handle the session
     negotiation.

     A  receiving  system  can call a routine like `YooHoo_Receiver()'  if
     it detects the YOOHOO character, or just drop into the FTS-0001  logic
     if it sees a TSYNC.

     This simple method allows a mailer to take care of both the TSYNC and
     the YOOHOO handshakes.


     WaZOO Protocols

     PROTOCOLS
     ---------

     Currently there are four WaZOO methods in use:

     1. ZedZap
        ------

             a Zmodem variant. The originator does a batch send then goes
             into a receive batch mode.  The called system does receive
             then send. In the event of a file request (see description
             below) made by the called system, one more turnaround is made
             to service the request.

           * Unlike the "True" Zmodem protocol described by Chuck Forsberg,
             ZedZap routines must be able to handle a batch mode that has
             no actual files. In other words, it is possible for there to
             be a init sequence followed immediately by a ZFIN.

           * The maximum packet size is 8192. This is usually varied based
             on the baud rate. For example, at 2400 it might be 2048 bytes,
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 7                   25 Nov 1996


             then for 9600 baud and above the maximum of 8192 could apply.
             Note that THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT VARIATION FROM STRICT ZMODEM
             IMPLEMENTATION.  (There's another WaZOO capability bit for
             those systems which can not handle this block size)

           * Netmail packets are transmitted as files with names in the
             form "12345678.PKT". Because of this, multiple packets may be
             sent in a single session.

           * If the calling system transmits a .REQ file for file requests,
             the receiving system can respond to it.  See "WaZOO File
             Requests" (below) for information on the .REQ file.

     2. ZedZip
        ------

             This capability is identical to ZedZap, but does not use
             buffers greater than 1K in size (like "True" Zmodem). It is
             also permissible to send a "null" packet in a ZedZip session.
             This allows a system which must use a strict Zmodem
             implementation to participate in a WaZOO session using Zmodem.


     3. DietIFNA
        --------

             The session operates like FTS-0001/FTS-0007. The notable
             exceptions are as follows:

           * The same packet naming convention as ZedZap applies, allowing
             more than one packet to be transmitted in a single session.

           * Telink file transfers don't even attempt to exchange file
             names using modem7. The receiving system extracts the file
             name from the Telink or SEAlink header block.

           * If SEAlink is used, run-ahead (the number of blocks to slide)
             is based on the baud rate:  BlocksToSlide = BaudRate / 400, up
             to a max of 24 blocks.

           * When there is nothing to send, a system should remain quiet.
             In other words, the end of a session can be determined by a
             timeout.

           * Under no circumstances should "BARK" file request logic be
             active during a DietIFNA session. File requests, if any,
             should be transmitted using a .REQ file.


             Many implementations of DietIfna have been accomplished by the
             mere exchange of packets, followed by straight FTS-0001/0007
             code. This is incorrect but probably not easily remedied at
             this point.  We have made an effort to document this change in
             "reality" in this revision of the document.

     4. Janus
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 8                   25 Nov 1996


        -----

             Janus is a full-duplex simultaneous bidirectional file
             transfer protocol. In other words, it can send and receive
             files at the same time.  It's very loosely derived from ZModem
             and HDLC/X.25 protocol technology, in that it uses variable
             length data-typed packets, and that transmission of file data
             does not require ACKs.

             The protocol is documented elsewhere; it is beyond the scope
             of this document to do so.


     Choosing WaZOO Methods

     How to decide which WaZOO method to use
     ---------------------------------------

     Since the called system has all the information  necessary to decide
     what WaZOO method to employ,  the best way to implement the process is
     for the calling  system  to send,  in its  capability  mask,  all the
     bits which correspond to methods it can use (or wants to use)  in
     communicating with the called system.  The called  system then looks
     at these bits and sends back only the bit which corresponds to the
     method it wants to use.

     If the  called system  sends  back a mask  which contains  more  than
     one capability of the  calling system,  it can create a  problem
     situation if one system  arrives at its choice of methods  differently
     from the other.  Thus, when the called system doesn't make the choice,
     both systems should choose as follows:

     1. Janus

     2. ZedZap

     3. ZedZip

     4. DietIFNA

     The capability highest on the list which both systems indicate ability
     to execute should be the one employed.


     WaZOO Filename conventions

     WaZOO FILENAMES
     ---------------

     1. MESSAGE PACKETS ... xxxxxxxx.PKT

             Normal (unarchived) messages are sent in a file name that has
             a tag of .PKT.  The "x" characters should be hex digits.


     2. ARCmail ... xxxxxxxx.{MO|TU|WE|TH|FR|SA|SU}#
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 9                   25 Nov 1996


             Message packets are often shipped in an archive that has been
             compressed with some LZ utility.

             The file name consists of a name with hex digits. The tag is
             one of seven two-character prefixes ("MO", "TU", "WE", "TH",
             "FR", "SA" or "SU") and a number (0-9).

             This particular naming convention was established by ARCmail
             version 0.60, which is a defacto standard in FidoNet.


     3. FILE REQUESTS ... xxxxxxxx.REQ

             This is explained below.

             In a nutshell, the file name consists of the receiving
             system's Fidonet address expressed as two 4-digit hex numbers.
             The file tag is .REQ.

             In a Janus session, the .REQ file isn't actually sent. Janus
             has a transaction system which sends the .REQ file one line at
             a time and then accepts the file(s) which the request
             generates.


     Flow of a ZedZap or ZedZip Session


     FLOW OF A ZEDZAP OR ZEDZIP SESSION
     ----------------------------------


     The calling system:


           * Send YooHoo

           * Receive YooHoo/2u2

           * In a single batch, send bundles, files, file request (.REQ)
             files (in that order)

           * In a single batch, receive bundles, files, file requests, and
             requested files (in that order)

           * If a file request (.REQ) file came in, send all requested
             files in a single batch.


     Receiving system:

           * Receive YooHoo

           * Send YooHoo/2u2

           * In a single batch, receive bundles, files, file requests
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 10                  25 Nov 1996


           * In a single batch, send bundles, files, our file requests, and
             respond to file requests that arrived from the remote system.

           * If we sent a .REQ file in the preceding step, receive all
             files in a single batch.


     WaZOO File Requests


     WAZOO FILE REQUESTS
     -------------------

     Rick Huebner, who adapted the ZModem routines for Opus, and the
     architect of the Janus file transfer protocol, designed the ".REQ
     file"-based file request system.


     REQ FILE:

     A WaZOO file request is based on a request file.  The name of a
     request file is similar to the .OUT and .FLO files used by Opus-CBCS
     and similar mail products (such as BinkleyTerm).

              TEMPLATE: netnode.REQ

              EXAMPLE:  00010002.REQ   ... a request being sent to 1/2

     The .REQ file is simply a text file that contains the files we want
     from the remote system. Those file names can include wildcards, but
     should not contain a path. Optionally, there can be a password if the
     sending system requires one.

     The "netnode" part of the file name is built from the remote systems
     net and node numbers.  Both numbers become 4-character hex numbers in
     the file name.

     Let's say we're requesting THIS.ARC and all node lists from 12/2.  The
     file name would be 000C0002.REQ.  The contents would look like this:

                       this.arc
                       nodelist.*

     If the sysop of 12/2 requires a password of THAT to get the file
     THIS.ARC, the REQ file contents would have to change:

                       this.arc !that
                       nodelist.*

     Transaction-level passwords (of 6 or fewer characters) follow the file
     name:

                       <filename><single-space-character>!<password><cr>


     If the request is of the "update" genre, the type of update and the
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 11                  25 Nov 1996


     time, expressed as a UNIX-style long decimal ASCII number, follows the
     name, or in the event that there is a transaction-level password, the
     password. For example, an update request for file NEWOPUS.*, where you
     already have a file dated 1-January 1989, 00:00 and you live on the
     East Coast (GMT+06) would be:

                       NEWOPUS.* +599634000

     The sign is required, it indicates the type of update request. A '+'
     means that all files matching the filespec "NEWOPUS.*" newer than the
     shown time will be sent, a '-' means that all matching files with
     dates up to and including the indicated time will be sent.


     The complete format of an action line in an REQ file is, then:

               <filename>[<space>!<password>][<space><+/-><time>]<cr>


     MECHANISM:

     In a ZedZap or DietIfna session, the .REQ file is simply transmitted
     to the other system.  It goes "as is" like any other file. In a Janus
     session, the .REQ file will be sent one line at a time and
     individually serviced by the other end.

     The other system can ignore the request, send some of the files, or
     send all of the files.  There is no accounting or responsibilities on
     the part of the remote system.

     If your implementation is unable to process the update information for
     any reason, then you should process the line as a "regular" file
     request.


     NOTE:

     In the YooHoo packet, there's a bit that lets you know if the remote
     system currently accepts .REQ files.  This will be a clue as to
     whether a .REQ file would be a waste of time or not. Procedurally, you
     just should not send a .REQ file to a system which indicates that it
     won't process it.


     Structures and Definitions

     STRUCTURES AND DECLARATIONS
     ---------------------------

     #define ACK    0x06
     #define NAK    0x15
     #define ENQ    0x05
     #define YOOHOO 0xf1
     #define TSYNC  0xae

     struct   _Hello
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 12                  25 Nov 1996


         {
         word     signal;           /* always 'o'     (0x6f)
         */
         word     hello_version;    /* currently 1    (0x01)
         */
         word     product;          /* product code
         */
         word     product_maj;      /* major revision of the product
         */
         word     product_min;      /* minor revision of the product
         */
         char     my_name[60];      /* Other end's name, will include
         domain   */
                                    /* if DO_DOMAIN is set in capabilities
     mask*/
         char     sysop[20];        /* sysop's name
     */
         word     my_zone;          /* 0== not supported
     */
         word     my_net;           /* out primary net number
     */
         word     my_node;          /* our primary node number
     */
         word     my_point;         /* 0 == not supported
     */
         byte     my_password[8];   /* This is not necessarily null-
     terminated */
         byte     reserved2[8];     /* reserved by Opus
     */
         word     capabilities;     /* see below
     */
         byte     reserved3[12];    /* for non-Opus systems with "approval"
     */
         };                         /*          total size 128 bytes
     */


     /*--------------------------------------------------------------------
     ----*/
     /* YOOHOO<tm> CAPABILITY VALUES
     */
     /*--------------------------------------------------------------------
     ----*/ #define Y_DIETIFNA 0x0001  /* Can do fast "FTS-0001"  0000 0000
     0000 0001 */
     #define FTB_USER   0x0002  /* Reserved by Opus-CBCS   0000 0000 0000
     0010 */ #define ZED_ZIPPER 0x0004  /* Does ZModem, 1K blocks  0000
     0000 0000 0100 */
     #define ZED_ZAPPER 0x0008  /* Can do ZModem variant   0000 0000 0000
     1000 */
     #define DOES_IANUS 0x0010  /* Can do Janus            0000 0000 0001
     0000 */
     #define Bit_5      0x0020  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0000 0010
     0000 */
     #define Bit_6      0x0040  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0000 0100
     0000 */
     #define Bit_7      0x0080  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0000 1000
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 13                  25 Nov 1996


     0000 */
     #define Bit_8      0x0100  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0001 0000
     0000 */
     #define Bit_9      0x0200  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0010 0000
     0000 */
     #define Bit_a      0x0400  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 0100 0000
     0000 */
     #define Bit_b      0x0800  /* reserved by FTSC        0000 1000 0000
     0000 */
     #define Bit_c      0x1000  /* reserved by FTSC        0001 0000 0000
     0000 */
     #define Bit_d      0x2000  /* reserved by FTSC        0010 0000 0000
     0000 */ #define DO_DOMAIN  0x4000  /* Packet contains domain  0100
     0000 0000 0000 */
     #define WZ_FREQ    0x8000  /* WZ file req. ok         1000 0000 0000
     0000 */


     Domain addressing in Hello Packet

     Since the invention of the WaZOO handshake, nearly every change in the
     FidoNet transport has been accessible by defining bits for new
     protocols, using the point number field in the structure, etc.

     With the advent of Domain addressing in FidoNet, this was no longer
     the case. There was no place set aside in the hello packet where
     domain info could be passed from one system to another.

     We have addressed this requirement by using some of the space set
     aside in the system name field for the domain. It is backward-
     compatible with all systems which determine the end of a string by use
     of a null.

     WaZOO systems that support domains communicate that fact by setting
     the DO_DOMAIN bit (hex 2000) in the capabilities mask. This tells the
     other side that they can expect to find a domain address in the
     packet.

     The domain name is stored at the end of the 'my_name' field. It is
     stored in its entirety (no abbreviations as in FSC-0045) after the
     system name.  If the length of the system name plus the null
     terminator plus the length of the domain name plus terminator exceeds
     60, the system name will be truncated (right to left) to make it fit.

     So, for a system named "FUBAR" at address 1:234/567@fidonet.org, the
     address and name fields in the header would look like this:

     hello.my_zone  = 1
     hello.my_net   = 234
     hello.my_node  = 567
     hello.my_point = 0
     hello.my_name  = 'F','U','B','A','R', 0, 'f','i','d','o','n','e','t',
                      '.','o','r','g',0
     hello.capabilities will contain the usual capabilities plus DO_DOMAIN.

     A remote system receiving this packet should look past the null in
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 14                  25 Nov 1996


     my_name to get the domain name.


     Caller State Tables

     Calling System:


     The parts of FTS-0001 and FTS-0007 which deal with synchronization of
     calling and called system must be modified to deal with the reception
     and processing of the YooHoo character and exchange of Hello packets.
     The following state table may be used to initiate an FTS-0001 or a
     WaZOO session by the calling system.  It replaces state S3 in the FTS-
     0001 table.


      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SS0 | SyncInit |                         | Prepare 3 sec Sync
      timer|     |
      |     |          |                         | Prepare .5 sec NAK tmr
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Init NAK Count
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Start 60 sec master tmr
      | SS1 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SS1 | SendSync | 1. Over 60 seconds      |
      |     |
      |     |          |    or carrier lost      | no response
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. 3 sec elapsed        | Clear Inbound buffer
      |     |
      |     |          |    or timer not started | Send YOOHOO, then TSYNC
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Start 3 sec Sync timer
      | SS2 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 3. not elapsed          |
      | SS2 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SS2 | WaitResp | 1. Nothing received     | require a response
      | SS1 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. ENQ received         | WaZOO Protocol selected
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 15                  25 Nov 1996


      +-----|
      |     |          | 3. 'C' received         | probable FTS-0001
      | SS3 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 4. NAK received         | probable FTS-0001
      | SS3 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 5. Debris (might include| Reset NAK timer
      |     |
      |     |          |    (YOOHOO|TSYNC) & 127)| if started
      | SS1 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SS3 | NAKTmr   | 1. Timer not expired    | Zero NAK count
      |     |
      |     |          |    or timer not started | Start .5 sec NAK timer
      | SS1 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. Timer expired        | Bump NAK count
      | SS4 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SS4 | NAKCount | 1. Count >= 2?          | assume FTS-0001
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. Count < 2            | Keep looking
      | SS1 | `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'


     Caller State Tables

     Calling System (continued):

     The FTS-0001 exits from the above table should operate using the FTS-
     0001 state tables, starting at state S4. The "WaZOO detected" case
     should proceed using the following state table:


      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YS1 | SndHello | Successful              | Looks like WaZOO
      | YS2 |
      |     | (state   +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |  SH1)    | Not successful          | Repeat whole thing
      | exit| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YS2 | WaitResp | 30 sec timer expires    | repeat whole thing
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 16                  25 Nov 1996


      | exit|
      |     |          | or lost carrier         |
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received YOOHOO         | Another WaZOO, go
      | YS3 |
      |     |          |                         | process receive
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received debris         | Repeat whole thing
      | YS2 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YS3 | GetHello | Information             | Report Success
      | exit|
      |     | (state   | Successfully            |
      |     |
      |     |  RH1)    | Exchanged               |
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Failure                 | Repeat whole thing
      | exit| `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'


     The failure cases in this table may be retried. The retry should be
     from the point of synchronization. This means redoing the process in
     the SendSync table on Page 11. A really smart mailer could therefore
     do a YooHoo, exchange information, decide that it doesn't want to do
     WaZOO, fail out, and attempt an FTS-0001 session.


     If the packet exchange is successful, session method selection
     proceeds and then the chosen session method should be employed to
     exchange mail and files.


     Called System State Tables

     The following state table may be used to initiate an FTS-0001 or a
     WaZOO session by the called system.  It replaces states R1 and R2 in
     the FTS-0001 table.


      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS0 | SyncInit |                         | Start 5 second idle tmr
      | RS1 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 17                  25 Nov 1996


      | RS1 | IdleWait | 1. 5 sec tmr expired    | Take the initiative
      | RS2 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. Carrier lost         | Session aborted
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 3. Peek = YOOHOO        | Looks like a live WaZOO
      | RS3 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 4. Peek = TSYNC         | Live FTS-0001, we think
      | RS3 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 5. Peek = CR, LF, space | He looks alive
      | RS2 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 6. Other character      | Eat it
      | RS1 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS2 |SendBanner| 1. Error returned       | Session aborted
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. Banner sent OK       |
      | RS3 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS3 |RecvInit  |                         | Start 20 sec timer
      | RS4 |
      |     |          |                         | Init 10 sec timer
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS4 |SendSync  | 1. Error returned       | Session aborted
      | exit|
      |     |(xmit sync+-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |string)   | 2. String sent OK       | Watch for sender sync
      | RS5 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS5 | WaitSync | 1. Carrier lost         | Session aborted
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. YOOHOO received      | WaZOO session selected
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 3. TSYNC received       | probable FTS-0001
      | RS6 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 4. CR received          | Still sync'ing
      | RS4 |
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 18                  25 Nov 1996


      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 5. Other character rcvd | Get next input
      character| RS5 |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 6. 10 sec timer elapsed | FTS-0001 selected
      | exit|
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 7. 20 sec timer elapsed | Not a mail session
      | exit| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RS6 | TsyncTmr | 1. Timer not running    | Start 10 second timer
      | RS5 |
      |     |          |                         | Reset 20 sec timer
      |     |
      |     |          +-------------------------+-------------------------
      +-----|
      |     |          | 2. Timer running        | Two TSYNCS = FTS-0001
      | exit| `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'


     Called System State Tables

     The FTS-0001 exits from the above table should operate using the FTS-
     0001 state tables, starting at state R3. The "WaZOO detected" case
     should proceed using the following state table:


      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YR1 | GetHello | Information             | Start 20 sec timer
      | YR2 |
      |     | (state   | Successfully            | Initialize retry count
      |     |
      |     |  RH1)    | Exchanged               | Send YooHoo
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Failure                 | Repeat whole thing
      | exit| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YR2 | WaitResp | 20 sec timeout          | try again
      | YR3 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Lost carrier            | Failure
      | exit|
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 19                  25 Nov 1996


      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received ENQ            | Go send hello
      | YR4 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received debris         | Keep looking
      | YR2 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YR3 | PollPeer | More than 3 retries     | Give it up
      | exit|
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Less than 3 retries     | Bump retry count
      | YR2 |
      |     |          |                         | Clear input buffer
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Send YOOHOO
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Restart 20 sec timer
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | YR4 | SndHello | Successful              | All done, report
      success| exit|
      |     | (state   +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |  SH1)    | Not successful          | Repeat whole thing
      | exit| `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'


     The failure cases in states YR1, YR3 and YR4 of this table may be
     retried.  The retry should be from the point of synchronization. This
     means redoing the process in the RecvSync table on Page 13, beginning
     at state RS3. A really smart mailer could therefore do a YooHoo,
     exchange information, decide that it doesn't want to (or cannot) do a
     WaZOO session, fail out, and attempt an FTS-0001 session.


     If the packet exchange is successful, session method selection
     proceeds and then the chosen session method should be employed to
     exchange mail and files.


     Packet Exchange State Tables

     The following state table describes the transmission of the "Hello"
     packet from one system to its partner:


      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 20                  25 Nov 1996


      | SH1 | InitSend |                         | Disable XON/XOFF
      | SH2 |
      |     |          |                         | Set retry count to 0
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SH2 | SendHedr |                         | Send Hex 1f, then
      | SH3 |
      |     |          |                         | Send HELLO struct
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SH3 | SendCRC  |                         | Clear Input Buffer
      | SH4 |
      |     |          |                         | Send two-byte CRC of
      pkt|     |
      |     |          |                         | MSB followed by LSB
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Start 40 second timer
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | SH4 | GetResp  | 40 second timer expires | Failed to send packet
      | exit|
      |     |          | or carrier lost         |
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | ACK received            | Successful transmission
      | exit|
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | '?' received            | Error, try retransmit
      | SH2 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | ENQ received            | Out of sync?
      | SH2 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | other character recvd   | Debris, keep watching
      | SH4 | `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'


     Packet Exchange State Tables

     The following state table describes the reception of the "Hello"
     packet sent to a system by its partner:

      .-----+----------+-------------------------+-------------------------
     +-----.
      |State| State    | Predicate(s)            | Action(s)
     | Next|
      |  #  | Name     |                         |
      | Stat| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH1 | SendENQ  |                         | Start 2 minute timer
      | RH2 |
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 21                  25 Nov 1996


      |     |          |                         | Send an ENQ character
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH2 | WaitHedr | 2 minute timer expires  | Report failure
      | exit|
      |     |          | or carrier lost         |
      |     |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received Hex 1f         | Got header, get packet
      | RH5 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received other char     | Debris, throw away
      | RH3 |
      |     |          |                         | Start 10 sec timer
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH3 | TossJunk | 10 sec timer expires    | Too much noise
      | RH4 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Received Hex 1f         | Got header, get packet
      | RH5 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Input buffer empty      | Try to resynch
      | RH4 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Carrier lost            | Report failure
      | exit| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH4 | ReSynch  |                         | Clear input buffer
      | RH2 |
      |     |          |                         | Send ENQ
      |     | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH5 | HdrSetup |                         | Initialize CRC
      |     |
      |     |          |                         | Set 30 second timer
      | RH6 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH6 | GetHChar | 30 sec timer expires or |
      |     |
      |     |          | carrier lost            | Report failure
      | exit|
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | Character received      | Process character
      | RH7 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | 10 seconds with no char | Error, try resync
      | RH9 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 22                  25 Nov 1996


      | RH7 | StoHChar | Buffer and CRC filled   | Compare CRC
      | RH8 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | More characters needed  | Reset 30 sec timer
      | RH6 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH8 | CheckCRC | CRC matches             | Finish Receive
      | RH10|
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | CRC doesn't match       | Handle error
      | RH9 | |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH9 | CountERR | Less than 10 errors     | Send '?' (0x3f)
      | RH2 |
      |     |          +- - - - - - - - - - - - -+- - - - - - - - - - - - -
      +- - -|
      |     |          | 10 errors               | Hang up, report failure
      | exit| |-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----|
      | RH10| HelloOK  |                         | Clear inbound buffer
      | exit|
      |     |          |                         | Send ACK
      |     | `-----+----------+-------------------------+-----------------
      --------+-----'

      -30-





     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 23                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                            COORDINATORS CORNER
     =================================================================


     Nodelist-statistics as seen from Zone-2 for day 327
     By Ward Dossche, 2:292/854
        ZC/2

      +----+------+------------+------------+------------+------------+--+
      |Zone|Nl-299|Nodelist-306|Nodelist-313|Nodelist-320|Nodelist-327|%%|
      +----+------+------------+------------+------------+------------+--+
      |  1 | 11555|11332  -223 |11332     0 |11127  -205 |11127     0 |37|
      |  2 | 16324|16307   -17 |16157  -150 |16300   143 |16291    -9 |54|
      |  3 |   954|  954     0 |  942   -12 |  929   -13 |  905   -24 | 3|
      |  4 |   620|  624     4 |  620    -4 |  620     0 |  589   -31 | 2|
      |  5 |    97|   95    -2 |   95     0 |   95     0 |   94    -1 | 0|
      |  6 |  1020| 1007   -13 | 1007     0 |  999    -8 | 1008     9 | 3|
      +----+------+------------+------------+------------+------------+--+
           | 30570|30319  -251 |30153  -166 |30070   -83 |30014   -56 |
           +------+------------+------------+------------+------------+

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 24                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================


     From: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@novia.net>
     To: "Baker, Christopher" <cbaker84@digital.net (Christopher Baker)>
     Date: Tue, 29 Oct 96 08:15:58 -0500
     Reply-To: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@novia.net>
     Subject: Fwd: Know your unix sysadmin (LONG)

     ==================BEGIN FORWARDED MESSAGE==================
     >Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 20:01:47 -0700
     >To: geeks@shorty.com
     >From: Ted Timmons <tedder@mailzone.com>
     >Subject: Know your unix sysadmin (LONG)

     There's a credit at the bottom... if that's who it is. I found it at:
     http://home.cray.com/~btd/sys-adm.html

     PLEASE don't mail me saying who it is :^)

     KNOW YOUR UNIX SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR - A FIELD GUIDE

     There are four major species of Unix sysadm:

     1) The TECHNICAL THUG. Usually a systems programmer who has been
     forced into system administration; writes scripts in a polyglot of the
     Bourne shell, sed, C, awk, perl, and APL.

     2) The ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST. Usually a retentive drone (or rarely, a
     harridan ex-secretary) who has been forced into system administration.

     3) The MANIAC. Usually an aging cracker who discovered that neither
     the Mossad nor Cuba are willing to pay a living wage for computer
     espionage.  Fell into system administration; occasionally approaches
     major competitors with indesp schemes.

     4) The IDIOT. Usually a cretin, morpohodite, or old COBOL programmer
     selected to be the system administrator by a committee of cretins,
     morphodites, and old COBOL programmers.

          HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR
               SITUATION: Low disk space.
               SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage.
               SITUATION: New account creation.
               SITUATION: Root disk fails.
               SITUATION: Poor network response.
               SITUATION: User questions.
               SITUATION: *Stupid* user questions.
               SITUATION: Process accounting management.
               SITUATION: Religious war, BSD vs. System V.
               SITUATION: Religious war, System V vs. AIX
               SITUATION: Balky printer daemons.
               SITUATION: OS upgrade.
               SITUATION: Balky mail.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 25                  25 Nov 1996


               SITUATION: Users want phone list application.
          OTHER GUIDELINES
               TYPICAL ROOT .cshrc FILE:
               HOBBIES, TECHNICAL:
               HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL:
               1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:
               1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:
          COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS

     HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR

     SITUATION: Low disk space.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk usage, maintain a
     database of historic disk usage, predict future disk usage via least
     squares regression analysis, identify users who are more than a
     standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the offending
     parties.  Places script in cron. Disk usage does not change, since
     disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated mail, or file it
     away in triplicate.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts disk usage policy in motd. Uses disk quotas. Allows no
     exceptions, thus crippling development work. Locks accounts that go
     over quota.

     MANIAC:

     # cd /home
     # rm -rf `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`;

     IDIOT:

     # cd /home
     # cat `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{ printf "%s/*\n", $2}'` |
     compress

     SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes a suite of scripts to monitor processes, maintain a
     database of CPU usage, identify processes more than a standard
     deviation over the norm, and renice offending processes. Places script
     in cron. Ends up renicing the production database into oblivion,
     bringing operations to a grinding halt, much to the delight of the
     xtrek freaks.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts CPU usage policy in motd. Uses CPU quotas. Locks accounts
     that go over quota. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development
     work, much to the delight of the xtrek freaks.

     MANIAC:

     # kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9  | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 26                  25 Nov 1996


     IDIOT:

     # compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9  | head -1 | awk '{print
     $2}'`

     SITUATION: New account creation.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes perl script that creates home directory, copies in
     incomprehensible default environment, and places entries in
     /etc/passwd, /etc/shadow, and /etc/group. (By hand, NOT with
     passmgmt.) Slaps on setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to handle new
     accounts. Usually, said secretary is still dithering over the
     difference between 'enter' and 'return'; and so, no new accounts are
     ever created.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts new account policy in motd. Since people without accounts
     cannot read the motd, nobody ever fulfills the bureaucratic
     requirements; and so, no new accounts are ever created.

     MANIAC:
          "If you're too stupid to break in and create your own account, I
     don't want you on the system. We've got too many goddamn sh*t-for-
     brains a**holes on this box anyway."

     IDIOT:

     # cd /home; mkdir "Bob's home directory"
     # echo "Bob Simon:gandalf:0:0::/dev/tty:compress -f" > /etc/passwd

     SITUATION: Root disk fails.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair filesystem from boot
     monitor.  Failing that, front-panel toggles microkernel in and starts
     script on neighboring machine to load binary boot code into broken
     machine, reformat and reinstall OS. Lets it run over the weekend while
     he goes mountain climbing.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Begins investigation to determine who broke the drive. Refuses to
     fix system until culprit is identified and charged for the equipment.

     MANIAC, LARGE SYSTEM:
          Rips drive from system, uses sledgehammer to smash same to
     flinders.  Calls manufacturer, threatens pets. Abuses field engineer
     while they put in a new drive and reinstall the OS.

     MANIAC, SMALL SYSTEM:
          Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen hammer to smash same to
     flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets. Abuses bystanders while
     putting in new drive and reinstalling OS.

     IDIOT:
          Doesn't notice anything wrong.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 27                  25 Nov 1996


     SITUATION: Poor network response.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes scripts to monitor network, then rewires entire machine
     room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs shoulders, says, "I've
     done all I can do," and goes mountain climbing.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts network usage policy in motd. Calls up Berkeley and AT&T,
     badgers whoever answers for network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks
     fired.

     MANIAC:
          Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and waits for
     connections to time out.

     IDIOT:

     # compress -f /dev/en0

     SITUATION: User questions.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Hacks the code of emacs' doctor-mode to answer new users
     questions.  Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new "guru-
     mode", or for that matter, emacs.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts user support policy in motd. Maintains queue of questions.
     Answers them when he gets a chance, often within two weeks of receipt
     of the proper form.

     MANIAC:
          Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes barters knowledge
     for powerful drink and/or sycophantic adulation.

     IDIOT:
          Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until the user
     realizes few UNIX systems support punched cards or JCL.

     SITUATION: *Stupid* user questions.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Answers question in hex, binary, postfix, and/or French until
     user gives up and goes away.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Locks user's account until user can present documentation
     demonstrating their qualification to use the machine.

     MANIAC:

     # cat >> ~luser/.cshrc
     alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z
     ~/.cshrc' ^D

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 28                  25 Nov 1996


     IDIOT:
          Answers all questions to best of his knowledge. Recruits user to
     system administration team.

     SITUATION: Process accounting management.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts scripts to sniff out
     any problems & compute charges.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Devotes 75% of disk space to accounting records owned by root and
     chmod'ed 000.

     MANIAC:
          Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting.

     IDIOT:

     # lpr /etc/wtmp /usr/adm/paact

     SITUATION: Religious war, BSD vs. System V.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          System V. Horrified by the people who use BSD. Places frequent
     calls to DEA.

     MANIAC:
          Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS processes run
     quickly.

     IDIOT:

     # cd c:

     SITUATION: Religious war, System V vs. AIX

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Weeps.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          AIX-- doesn't much care for the OS, but loves the jackboots.

     MANIAC:
          System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full well how much Big
     Financial Institutions love IBM...

     IDIOT:
          AIX.

     SITUATION: Balky printer daemons.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 29                  25 Nov 1996


          Rewrites lpd in FORTH.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts printer use policy in motd. Calls customer support every
     time the printer freezes. Tries to get user who submitted the most
     recent job fired.

     MANIAC:
          Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all the print
     queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour from cron.

     IDIOT:

     # kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &

     SITUATION: OS upgrade.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Reads source code of new release, takes only what he likes.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Instigates lawsuit against the vendor for having shipped a
     product with bugs in it in the first place.

     MANIAC:

     # uptime 1:33pm  up 19 days, 22:49,  167 users,  load average: 6.49,
     6.45, 6.31
     # wall
     Well, it's upgrade time.  Should take a few hours.  And good luck on
     that 5:00 deadline, guys!  We're all pulling for you!
     ^D

     IDIOT:

     # dd if=/dev/rmt8 of=/vmunix

     SITUATION: Balky mail.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites sendmail in SNOBOL.
     Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks kernel to implement
     "better" semaphores.
          Rewrites sendmail in assembly. Hacks kernel to . . .

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks accounts that go over mail
     use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people go back to interoffice
     mail, thus solving problem.

     MANIAC:

     # kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
     # rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
     # wall
     Mail is down.  Please use interoffice mail until we have it back up.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 30                  25 Nov 1996


     ^D
     # write max I've got my boots and backpack.  Ready to leave for Mount
     Tam?
     ^D

     IDIOT:

     # echo "HELP!" | mail
     tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!

     SITUATION: Users want phone list application.

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes RDBMS in perl and Smalltalk. Users give up and go back to
     post-it notes.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Oracle. Users give up and go back to post-it notes.

     MANIAC:
          Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way God meant man
     to keep track of phone numbers. Users give up and go back to post-it
     notes.

     IDIOT:

     % dd ibs=80 if=/dev/rdisk001s7 | grep "Fred"

     OTHER GUIDELINES

     TYPICAL ROOT .cshrc FILE:

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the output of a perl script,
     rewrites itself.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Typical lines include:

          umask 777
          alias cd 'cd \!*; rm -rf ching *hack mille omega rogue xtrek >&
          /dev/null &'

     MANIAC:
          Typical lines include:

          alias rm 'rm -rf \!*'
          alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`'
          alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
          alias renice 'echo Renice\?  You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'

     IDIOT:
          Typical lines include:

          alias dir ls
          alias era rm
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 31                  25 Nov 1996


          alias kitty cat
          alias process_table ps
          setenv DISPLAY vt100

     HOBBIES, TECHNICAL:

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest. Optimizes INTERCAL
     scripts.  Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual reality .

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Bugs office. Audits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in
     on cellular phone conversations. Listens to police band.

     MANIAC:
          Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office. Edits card-key
     logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations.
     Jams police band.

     IDIOT:
          Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman numeral converter.
     Rereads flowcharts from his salad days at Rand.

     HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL:

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Drinks "Smart Drinks." Attends raves. Hangs out at poetry
     readings and Whole Earth Review events and tries to pick up
     Birkenstock MOTAS.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Reads Readers Digest and Mein Kampf. Sometimes turns up car radio
     and sings along to John Denver. Golfs. Drinks gin martinis. Hangs out
     in yuppie bars and tries to pick up dominatrixes.

     MANIAC:
          Reads Utne Reader and Mein Kampf. Faithfully attends Dickies and
     Ramones concerts. Punches out people who say "virtual reality." Drinks
     damn near anything, but favors Wild Turkey, Black Bush, and grain
     alcohol.  Hangs out in neighborhood bars and tries to pick up MOTAS by
     drinking longshoremen under the table.

     IDIOT:
          Reads Time and Newsweek-- and *believes* them. Drinks
     Jagermeister.  Tries to pick up close blood relations-- often
     succeeds, producting next generation of idiots.

     1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's book.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only because he liked Tipper.

     MANIAC:
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 32                  25 Nov 1996


          Frank Zappa.

     IDIOT:
          Perot.

     1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:

     TECHNICAL THUG:
          Richard Stallman - Larry Wall.

     ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:
          Nixon - Buchanan.

     MANIAC:
          Frank Zappa.

     IDIOT:
          Quayle.

     COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS

     TECHNICAL FASCIST:
          Hacks kernel & writes a horde of scripts to prevent folk from
     ever using more than their fair share of system resources. Resulting
     overhead and load brings system to its knees.

     TECHNICAL MANIAC:
          Writes scripts that SEEM to be monitoring the system, but are
     actually encrypting large lists of passwords. Uses nearby nodes as
     beta test sites for worms.

     TECHNICAL IDIOT:
          Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner or later do an "rm -rf
     /".

     FASCISTIC MANIAC:
          At first hint of cracker incursions, whether real or imagined,
     shuts down system by triggering water-on-the-brain detectors and Halon
     system.

     FASCISTIC IDIOT:

     # cp /dev/null /etc/passwd

     MANIACAL IDIOT:
          Napalms the CPU.


     - Stephan Zielinski

     --
     -=TED=-    O-    JAPH    tedder@mailzone.com
     ===================END FORWARDED MESSAGE===================

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 33                  25 Nov 1996


     From: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@novia.net>
     To: "Baker, Christopher" <cbaker84@digital.net (Christopher Baker)>
     Date: Wed, 06 Nov 96 08:59:47 -0500
     Reply-To: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@novia.net>
     Subject: Fwd: USENET guide to power posting

     ==================BEGIN FORWARDED MESSAGE==================
     >Return-Path: geekapp@tomservo.mindspring.com
     >Received: from tomservo.mindspring.com (tomservo.mindspring.com
     >From: Robbie Honerkamp <robbie@tomservo.mindspring.com>
     >Message-Id: <199611050400.XAA31005@tomservo.mindspring.com>
     >Subject: USENET guide to power posting
     >To: geeks@shorty.com, mob@shorty.com
     >Date: Mon, 4 Nov 1996 23:00:00 -0500 (EST)
     >Reply-To: robbie@mindspring.com


     I remember making a scene in the lab at college when I first read this
     from laughing so hard.. :)

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                          The USENET Guide to Power Posting

     1.   Conspiracies abound:  If everyone's against you, the reason
             can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead.  There's obviously
             a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire
             net a favor by exposing it.  Be sure to mention the CIA, FBI
             Oliver North and the Army as co-conspiritors.

     2.   Lawsuit threats:  This is the reverse of Rule #1.  Threatening a
             lawsuit is always considered to be in good form.  "By saying
             that I've posted to the wrong group, Charlie has libeled me,
             slandered me, and sodomized me.  See you in court, Charlie."

     3.   Force them to document their claims:  Even if Jane Jones
             states outright that she has menstrual cramps, you should
             demand documentation.  If Newsweek hasn't written an article
             on Jane's cramps, then Jane's obviously lying.

     4.   Use foreign phrases:  French is good, but Latin is the lingua
             franca of USENET.  You should use the words "ad hominem" at
             least three times per article.  Other favorite Latin phrases
             are "ad nauseam", "vini, vidi, vici", "E Pluribus Unum" and
             "fetuccini alfredo".

     5.   Tell 'em how smart you are:  Why use intelligent arguments to
             convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell
             them?  State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of
             America.  Tell them the scores you received on every exam
             since high school.  "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs,
             MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'premeiotic' ".

     6.   Be an armchair psychologist:  You're a smart person.  You've
             heard of Freud.  You took a psychology course in college.
             Clearly, you're qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 34                  25 Nov 1996


             "Polly Purebread, by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting,
             shows she has a bad case of penis envy."

     7.   Accuse your opponent of censorship.  It is your right as an
             American citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net
             (as guaranteed by the 37th Amendment, I think).  Anyone who
             tries to limit your cross-posting or move a flame war to email
             is either a Communist, a fascist, or both.

     8.   Doubt their existence:  You've never actually seen your opponent,
             have you?  And since you're the center of the universe, you
             should have seen them by now, shouldn't you?  Therefore, THEY
             DON'T EXIST!  Call'em an AI project, to really piss them off.

     9.   Laugh at whatever they write.  A good
             "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" should intimidate just about
             anyone.

     10.  When in doubt, insult:  If you forget the other rules, remember
             this one.  At some point during your wonderful career on
             USENET you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone
             who is better than you.  This person will expose your lies,
             tear apart your arguments, make you look generally like a
             bozo.  At this point, there's only one thing to do:  insult
             the dirtbag!!!  "Oh yeah?  Well, you do strange things with
             vegetables."

     11.  And, if all else fails, remember that you can always fall back on
             the favorite defense of Soc.women:  "Who cares what YOU think
             -- this is Soc.WOMEN!".  Add "DAMMIT!" for effect.

     12.  Be sure to have a cute signature that proclaims that you are a
             man basher.  No one will respect you unless it's clear that
             you hate men.

     13.  Call'em a "Pman" if you can't think of anything.  Tell the
             linguists to stuff it -- YOU know a diminutive when you see
             it.

     14.  Make things up about your opponent:  It's important to make your
             lies sound true.  Preface your argument with the word
             "clearly." "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to
             boot."

     15.  Cross-post your article:  Everyone on the net is just waiting for
             the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal.  From
             rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their
             breaths until your next flame.  Therefore, post everywhere.

     16.  Use the smiley to your advantage.  You can call anyone just about
             anything as long as you include the smiley.  On really nasty
             attacks add "No flames, please".  When they bitch, call them
             an ass for not being able to recognize sarcasm when they see
             it.

     17.  Threaten to destroy Soc.men if your opponent refuses to give up.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 35                  25 Nov 1996


             This at least gives you an appearance of power, even if nobody
             on the net gives a damn about what goes on in soc.men.

     18.  Should you post something exceedingly stupid and later regret it,
             don't worry.  You needn't cancel the article.  That only shows
             what a wimp you really are.  Deny that you ever sent it.  "It
             must be a forgery!"  (Yea, that's the ticket, it's a forgery!)
             "Someone broke into my account and sent it!"  "It's that damn
             backbone cabal out to get me!"  Take your pick, they've all
             been used before.

     19.  A really cheap shot is to call you opponent a "facist".  By
             itself, it really does nothing.  But, when used often, and in
             enough articles, it can make you a net-legend.

     20.  And finally, never edit your newsgroup line when following up
             (unless you're expanding it).  This drives 'em wild.  Be sure
             to follow up as many articles as possible, even if you have
             nothing to say.  The important thing is to get "exposure" so
             that you can be called a "regular" in your pet newsgroup.
             Never change the ">" symbol when following up; that's for
             wimps.  Dump a hundred lines of "INEWS FODDER" in every
             article.

     Now that you know the ways to properly post on USENET, let's try
     an example:

     In article <1452@sab.ck>, Bill Netter writes:
     > Dear Sally,

     I object to your use of the word "dear".  It shows you are a
     condescending, sexist Pman.  Also, the submissive tone you use shows
     that you like to be tied down and flagellated with licorice whips.

     > While I found your article "The Effect of Lint on Western Thought"
     > to be extremely thought-provoking,

     "Thought-provoking"?  I had no idea you could think, you rotting piece
     of swamp slime.  :-) (No flames, please)

     > it really shouldn't have been posted in Soc.women.

     What?  Are you questioning my judgment?  I'll have you know that I'm
     a member of the super-high-IQ society Menstruate.  I got an 800 on my
     PMS exam.  Besides, what does a Pman like yourself know of such
     things.  This is Soc.WOMEN, DAMMIT!

     Your attempts constitute nothing less than censorship.  There is a
     conspiracy against me.  You, Colin, Charlie and the backbone cabal
     have been constantly harassing me by email.  This was an ad hominem
     attack!  If this doesn't stop at once, I'll crosspost a thousand
     articles to soc.men.

     > Perhaps you should have posted it in misc.misc.

     It is my right, as granted in the Bill of Rights, the Magna Carta, the
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 36                  25 Nov 1996


     Bible and the Quran, to post where ever I want to.  Or don't you
     believe in those documents, you damn fascist?  Perhaps if you didn't
     spend so much time sacrificing virgins and infants to Satan, you would
     have realized this.

     > Your article would be much more appropriate there.

     Can you document this?  I will only accept documents notarized by my
     attorney, and signed by you in your blood.  Besides, you don't really
     exist anyway, you Pseudo, you.

     > If I can be of any help in the future, just drop me a line.

     HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

     > Bill.

     Sally Sourpuss

     "If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all?"

     Soc.women Women WOMEN, DAMMIT!


     ===================END FORWARDED MESSAGE===================







     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 37                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


     Various states of Turkeyness...

     Date: 24 Nov 94  14:44:06
     From: odin@gate.net
       To: All
     Subj: Happy Thanksgiving!
     ______________________________________________________________________

     Date: Thu, 24 Nov 1994 17:44:06 -0500 (EST)
     From: PNEWS <odin@gate.net>

     [*********PNEWS CONFERENCES************]
     From: Ribaud.@f360.n135.z1.fidonet.org

                                   ,+*^^*+___+++_
                             ,*^^^^              )
                          _+*                     ^**+_
                        +^       _ _++*+_+++_,         )
            _+^^*+_    (     ,+*^ ^          \+_        )
           {       )  (    ,(    ,_+--+--,      ^)      ^\
          { (@)    } f   ,(  ,+-^ __*_*_  ^^\_   ^\       )
         {:;-/    (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_    )    )      /
        ( /  (    (        ,___    ^*+_+* )   <    <      \
         U _/     )    *--<  ) ^\-----++__)   )    )       )
          (      )  _(^)^^))  )  )\^^^^^))^*+/    /       /
        (      /  (_))_^)) )  )  ))^^^^^))^^^)__/     +^^
       (     ,/    (^))^))  )  ) ))^^^^^^^))^^)       _)
        *+__+*       (_))^)  ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^
        \             \_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^)
         (_             ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^)
           ^\___            ^\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\
                ^^^^^\uuu/^^\uuu/^^^^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\
                   ___) >____) >___   ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\)
                  ^^^//\\_^^//\\_^       ^(\_\_\_\)
                    ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^

     HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

     Ribaud

     ---
       Origin: Usenet: (1:343/70)

     Date: 23 Nov 95  18:57:07
     From: Tom Mckeever
       To: All
     Subj: 'Appy 'Oliday!
     ______________________________________________________________________

     Greetings, All!!

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 38                  25 Nov 1996


                                                   __    __
                                _  _  _  _        (  )  (  )
                           _ -              - _   / /  / /
                        _-                      / _ /   /
                      /           v               /   /
                    /       v                _ /    /   \
                   |            v          /       |      \
                   |_                     |       /         \
                  /   \   _ _         _    \_ _ /   _ _       \  _ _
               |     | /   \ _ _  /   \ /   \_ _/    \_ _   //    \
               \ _ / |__ _/    \/     |\                \_/|     /
         ---=========================================================---
             \=====================================================/
                        H A P P Y   T H A N K S G I V I N G

                        From the MCKEEVER Family!!!!

     Take care!!

     Tom..
     (tom.mckeever@mit.com)
     (ksc_admin@ids.net)
     SPACECON/BRAVEHEART BBS (1:374/22)
     (407) 459-0969 452-8969 453-5393 (1200-28800 Baud)
     (Home of INFOLOG, OTVIEW, & POST_POLIO and CARDIAC Echoes!!)

     Origin: SPACECON Medical/Disabilities/Law Enforcement BBS!(1:374/22.0)

     Date: 23 Nov 95  09:42:00
     From: Peter Kling
       To: all
     Subj: ThanksGiving...
     ______________________________________________________________________

         GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBB
         LEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGO
         BBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE
         GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBB
         LEGOBBLEG                                              EGOBBLEGO
         BBLEGOBBL      H A P P Y   T H A N K S G I V I N G     BLEGOBBLE
         GOBBLEGOB                                              OBBLEGOBB
         LEGOBBLEG             T O   E V E R Y O N E            EGOBBLEGO
         BBLEGOBBL                                              BBLEGOBBL
         LEGOBBLEG                   F R O M                    EGOBBLEGO
         EGOBBLEGO                                              EGOBBLEGO
         BBLEGOBBL         INFO  SYSTEM  TECHNOLOGY, INC.       BLEGOBBLE
         GOBBLEGOB              PALM BAY, FLORIDA               GOBBLEGOB
         BLEGOBBLE                                              BLEGOBBLE
         GOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBB
         LEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGO
         BBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE

       Origin: Info System Technology Inc.,Florida, U.S.A. (1:374/169)

      -30-

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 39                  25 Nov 1996


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 40                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                                  NOTICES
     =================================================================

                                Future History

      1 Dec 1996
        Twelfth Anniversary of FidoNews Volume 1, Issue 1.

     12 Dec 1996
        Constitution Day, Russia

     26 Jan 1997
        Australia Day, Australia.

      6 Feb 1997
        Waitangi Day, New Zealand.

     16 Feb 1997
        Eleventh Anniversary of invention of Echomail by Jeff Rush.

     29 Feb 1997
        Nothing will happen on this day.

     25 May 1997
        Independence Day, Argentina

     11 Jun 1997
        Independence Day, Russia

      1 Dec 1998
        Fifteenth Anniversary of release of Fido version 1 by
        Tom Jennings.

     31 Dec 1999
        Hogmanay, Scotland. The New Year that can't be missed.

     15 Sep 2000
        Sydney (Australia) Summer Olympiad opens.

     -- If YOU have something which you would like to see in this
        Future History, please send a note to the FidoNews Editor.

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 41                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                         FIDONET SOFTWARE LISTING
     =================================================================


     [Due to a system crash at Peter's system last week, the Software
      Versions list was not published in FidoNews 1347. This is the
      8 Nov edition repeated for continuity. All the listed deadlines
      should be considered extended until 1:363/264 gets going again.] Ed.

     Latest Greatest Software Versions
     by Peter E. Popovich, 1:363/264

     Wonder of wonders! Someone actually wrote in about a phase-out. I'll
     be holding onto the Atari ST/TT Software section for the time being.

     I'm still behind, and trying desperately to catch up. If you have
     sent in a submission and haven't heard back, please feel free to bug
     me about it... ;-)

     Phase-out highlights:
       This week: Lynx 1.30 Deadline for info: 22 Nov 1996.
       Last week: Kitten 1.01 Deadline for info: 15 Nov 1996.

     -=- Snip -=-

     Submission form for the Latest Greatest Software Versions column

     OS Platform                             :
     Software package name                   :
     Version                                 :
     Function(s) - BBS, Mailer, Tosser, etc. :
     Freeware / Shareware / Commercial?      :
     Author / Support staff contact name     :
     Author / Support staff contact node     :
     Magic name (at the above-listed node)   :

     Please include a sentence describing what the package does.

     Please send updates and suggestions to: Peter Popovich, 1:363/264

     -=- Snip -=-

     MS-DOS:
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     Act-Up         4.6        G D Chris Gunn        1:15/55     ACT-UP
     ALLFIX         4.33       T S Harald Harms      2:281/415   ALLFIX
     Announcer      1.1        O S Peter Karlsson    2:206/221   ANNOUNCE
     BGFAX          1.60       O S B.J. Guillot      1:106/400   BGFAX
     CheckPnt       0.5 beta   O F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     CHECKPNT
     FidoBBS (tm)   12u        B S Ray Brown         1:1/117     FILES
     FrontDoor      2.12       M S JoHo              2:201/330   FD
     FrontDoor      2.20c      M C JoHo              2:201/330   FDINFO
     GIGO           07-14-96   G S Jason Fesler      1:1/141     INFO
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 42                  25 Nov 1996


     Imail          1.75       T S Michael McCabe    1:297/11    IMAIL
     ImCrypt        1.04       O F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     IMCRYPT
     InfoMail       1.11       O F Damian Walker     2:2502/666  INFOMAIL
     InterEcho      1.19       T C Peter Stewart     1:369/35    IEDEMO
     InterMail      2.29k      M C Peter Stewart     1:369/35    IMDEMO
     InterPCB       1.52       O S Peter Stewart     1:369/35    INTERPCB
     IPNet          1.11       O S Michele Stewart   1:369/21    IPNET
     Jelly-Bean     1.01       T S Rowan Crowe       3:635/727   JELLY
     Jelly-Bean/386 1.01       T S Rowan Crowe       3:635/727   JELLY386
     MakePl         1.8        N F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     MAKEPL
     Marena         1.1 beta   O F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     MARENA
     Maximus        3.01       B P Tech              1:249/106   MAX
     McMail         1.0g5      M S Michael McCabe    1:1/148     MCMAIL
     MDNDP          1.18       N S Bill Doyle        1:388/7     MDNDP
     MsgEd          4.00       O G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   MSGED
     Opus CBCS      1.73a      B P Christopher Baker 1:374/14    OPUS
     O/T-Track      2.63a      O S Peter Hampf       2:241/1090  OT
     PcMerge        2.7        N F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     PCMERGE
     PlatinumXpress 1.1        M C Gary Petersen     1:290/111   PX11TD.ZIP
     RAR            2.00       C S Ron Dwight        2:220/22    RAR
     RemoteAccess   2.50       B S Mark Lewis        1:3634/12   RA
     Silver Xpress
       Door         5.4        O S Gary Petersen     1:290/111   FILES
       Reader       4.3        O S Gary Petersen     1:290/111   SXR43.ZIP
     Squish         1.11       T P Tech              1:249/106   SQUISH
     StealTag UK    1.c...     O F Fred Schenk       2:284/412   STEAL_UK
     StealTag NL    1.c...     O F Fred Schenk       2:284/412   STEAL_NL
     T-Mail         2.599I     M S Ron Dwight        2:220/22    TMAIL
     Terminate      4.00       O S Bo Bendtsen       2:254/261   TERMINATE
     Tobruk         0.33       T G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   TOBRUK
     TriBBS         10.0       B S Patrick Driscoll  1:372/19    TRIBBS
     TriDog         10.0       M S Patrick Driscoll  1:372/19    TRIDOG
     TriToss        10.0       T S Patrick Driscoll  1:372/19    TRITOSS
     WWIV           4.24a      B S Craig Dooley      1:376/126   WWIV
     WWIVTOSS       1.30       T S Craig Dooley      1:376/126   WWIVTOSS
     XRobot         3.01       O S JoHo              2:201/330   XRDOS

     OS/2:
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     BGFAX          1.60       O S B.J. Guillot      1:106/400   BGFAX
     FleetStreet    1.18       O S Michael Hohner    2:2490/2520 FLEET
     GIGO           07-14-96   G S Jason Fesler      1:1/141     INFO
     ImCrypt        1.04       O F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     IMCRYPT
     Maximus        3.01       B P Tech              1:249/106   MAXP
     MsgEd          4.00       O G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   MSGED
     PcMerge        2.3        N F Michiel van der Vlist
                                                     2:500/9     PCMERGE
     RAR            2.00       C S Ron Dwight        2:220/22    RAR2
     Squish         1.11       T P Tech              1:249/106   SQUISHP
     T-Mail         2.599I     M S Ron Dwight        2:220/22    TMAIL2
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 43                  25 Nov 1996


     Tobruk         0.33       T G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   TOBRUK
     XRobot         3.01       O S JoHo              2:201/330   XROS2

     Windows (16-bit apps):
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     BeeMail        1.0        M C Andrius Cepaitis  2:470/1     BEEMAIL

     Windows (32-bit apps):
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     BeeMail        1.0        M C Andrius Cepaitis  2:470/1     BEEMAIL
     Maximus        3.01       B P Tech              1:249/106   MAXN
     PlatinumXpress 2.00       M C Gary Petersen     1:290/111   PXW-INFO
     T-Mail         2.599I     M S Ron Dwight        2:220/22    TMAILNT

     Unix:
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     ifmail         2.8f       M G Eugene Crosser    2:293/2219  IFMAIL
     ifmail-tx      2.8f-tx7.7 M G Pablo Saratxaga   2:293/2219  IFMAILTX
     MsgEd          4.00       O G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   MSGED
     Tobruk         0.33       T G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   TOBRUK

     Amiga:
     Program Name   Version    F C Contact Name      Node        Magic Name
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     CrashMail      1.23       T X Fredrik Bennison  2:205/324   CRASHMAIL
     CrashTick      1.1        O F Fredrik Bennison  2:205/324   CRASHTICK
     MsgEd          4.00       O G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   MSGED
     Tobruk         0.33       T G Paul Edwards      3:711/934   TOBRUK

     Function: B-BBS, M-Mailer, N-Nodelist, G-Gateway, T-Tosser,
               C-Compression, O-Other. Note: Multifunction will be listed
               by the first match.

     Cost: P-Free for personal use, F-Freeware, S-Shareware, C-Commercial,
           X-Crippleware, D-Demoware, G-Free w/ Source


     Old info from: 01/27/92
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                             MS-DOS Systems
                             --------------

     BBS Software            NodeList Utilities      Other Utilities
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     Kitten          1.01    EditNL          4.00    MailBase       4.11a@
     Lynx            1.30    FDND            1.10    MSG              4.5*
     Merlin         1.39n    MakeNL          2.31    MsgLnk          1.0c
     Oracomm       5.M.6P@   Parselst        1.33    MsgMstr        2.03a
     Oracomm Plus     6.E@   Prune           1.40    MsgNum         4.16d
     PCBoard        14.5a    SysNL           3.14    MSGTOSS          1.3
     Phoenix         1.07*   XlatList        2.90    Netsex         2.00b
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 44                  25 Nov 1996


     ProBoard        1.20*   XlaxNode/Diff   2.53    OFFLINE         1.35
     QuickBBS        2.75                            Oliver          1.0a
     RBBS           17.3b    Other Utilities         OSIRIS CBIS     3.02
     RemoteAccess    1.11*   Name         Version    PKInsert        7.10
     SimplexBBS      1.05    --------------------    PolyXarc        2.1a
     SLBBS          2.15C*   2DAPoint        1.50*   QM             1.00a
     Socrates        1.11    4Dog/4DMatrix   1.18    QSort           4.04
     SuperBBS        1.12*   ARCAsim         2.31    RAD Plus        2.11
     SuperComm       0.99    ARCmail         3.00*   Raid            1.00
     TAG             2.5g    Areafix         1.20    RBBSMail        18.0
     TBBS             2.1    ConfMail        4.00    ScanToss        1.28
     TComm/TCommNet   3.4    Crossnet         1.5    ScMail          1.00
     Telegard         2.7*   DOMAIN          1.42    ScEdit          1.12
     TPBoard          6.1    DEMM            1.06    Sirius          1.0x
     WildCat!        3.02*   DGMM            1.06    SLMail         2.15C
     XBBS            1.77    DOMAIN          1.42    StarLink        1.01
                             EEngine         0.32    TagMail         2.41
     Network Mailers         EMM             2.11*   TCOMMail         2.2
     Name         Version    EZPoint          2.1    Telemail         1.5*
     --------------------    FGroup          1.00    TGroup          1.13
     BinkleyTerm     2.50    FidoPCB         1.0s@   TIRES           3.11
     D'Bridge        1.30    FNPGate         2.70    TMail           1.21
     Dreamer         1.06    GateWorks      3.06e    TosScan         1.00
     Dutchie        2.90c    GMail           2.05    UFGATE          1.03
     Milqtoast       1.00    GMD             3.10    VPurge         4.09e
     PreNM           1.48    GMM             1.21    WEdit            2.0@
     SEAdog          4.60    GoldEd         2.31p    WildMail        2.00
     SEAmail         1.01    GROUP           2.23    WMail            2.2
     TIMS       1.0(mod8)    GUS             1.40    WNode            2.1
                             Harvey's Robot  4.10    XRS             4.99
     Compression             HeadEdit        1.18    XST             2.3e
     Utilities               HLIST           1.09    YUPPIE!         2.00
     Name         Version    ISIS            5.12@   ZmailH          1.25
     --------------------    Lola           1.01d    ZSX             2.40
     ARC             7.12    Mosaic         1.00b
     ARJ             2.20
     LHA             2.13
     PAK             2.51
     PKPak           3.61
     PKZip           1.10


                             OS/2 Systems
                             ------------

     BBS Software            Other Utilities(A-M     Other Utilities(N-Z)
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     Kitten          1.01    ARC             7.12    oMMM            1.52
     SimplexBBS   1.04.02+   ARC2            6.01    Omail            3.1
                             ConfMail        4.00    Parselst        1.33
                             EchoStat         6.0    PKZip           1.02
     Network Mailers         EZPoint          2.1    PMSnoop         1.30
     Name         Version    FGroup          1.00    PolyXOS2        2.1a
     --------------------    GROUP           2.23    QSort            2.1
     BinkleyTerm     2.50    LH2             2.11    Raid             1.0
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 45                  25 Nov 1996


     BinkleyTerm(S)  2.50    MSG              4.2    Remapper         1.2
     BinkleyTerm/2-MT        MsgLink         1.0c    Tick             2.0
                  1.40.02    MsgNum         4.16d    VPurge         4.09e
     SEAmail         1.01


                             Xenix/Unix 386
                             --------------

     BBS Software            Network Mailers         Other Utilities
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
                                                     ARC             5.21
                                                     C-LHARC         1.00
      |Contact:  Willy Paine 1:343/15,|              MSGLINK         1.01
      |or Eddy van Loo 2:285/406      |              oMMM            1.42
                                                     Omail           1.00
                                                     ParseLst        1.32
                                                     Unzip           3.10
                                                     VPurge          4.08
                                                     Zoo             2.01


                             Macintosh
                             ---------

     BBS Software            Network Mailers         Other Software
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     FBBS            0.91    Copernicus       1.0    ArcMac           1.3
     Hermes         1.6.1    Tabby            2.2    AreaFix          1.6
     Mansion         7.15                            Compact Pro     1.30
     Precision Sys. 0.95b                            EventMeister     1.0
     Red Ryder Host   2.1                            Export          3.21
     Telefinder Host                                 Import           3.2
                  2.12T10                            LHARC           0.41
                                                     MacArd          0.04
                                                     Mantissa        3.21
     Point System                                    Mehitable        2.0
     Software                                        OriginatorII     2.0
     Name         Version                            PreStamp         3.2
     --------------------                            StuffIt Classic  1.6
     Copernicus      1.00                            SunDial          3.2
     CounterPoint    1.09                            TExport         1.92
     MacWoof          1.1                            TimeStamp        1.6
                                                     TImport         1.92
                                                     Tset             1.3
                                                     TSort            1.0
                                                     UNZIP          1.02c
                                                     Zenith           1.5
                                                     Zip Extract     0.10


                             Amiga
                             -----

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 46                  25 Nov 1996


     BBS Software            Network Mailers         Other Software
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     4D-BBS          1.65    BinkleyTerm     1.00    Areafix         1.48
     DLG Pro.       0.96b    TrapDoor        1.80    AReceipt         1.5
     Falcon CBCS     1.00    WelMat          0.44    ChameleonEdit   0.11
     Starnet         1.0q@                           ConfMail        1.12
     TransAmiga      1.07                            ElectricHerald  1.66
     XenoLink         1.0    Compression             FFRS             1.0@
                             Utilities               FileMgr         2.08
                             Name         Version    Fozzle           1.0@
     NodeList Utilities      --------------------    Login           0.18
     Name         Version    AmigArc         0.23    MessageFilter   1.52
     --------------------    booz            1.01    Message View    1.12
     ParseLst        1.66    LHARC           1.30    oMMM            1.50
     Skyparse        2.30    LhA             1.10    PolyXAmy        2.02
     TrapList        1.40    LZ              1.92    RMB             1.30
                             PkAX            1.00    Roof           46.15
                             UnZip            4.1    RoboWriter      1.02
                             Zippy (Unzip)   1.25    Rsh            4.07a
                             Zoo             2.01    Tick            0.75
                                                     TrapToss        1.20
     |Contact: Maximilian Hantsch 2:310/6|           Yuck!           2.02


                             Atari ST/TT
                             -----------

     BBS Software            Network Mailers         Other Utilities
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     FIDOdoor/ST    2.5.1    BinkleyTerm   2.40n9    ApplyList       1.00@
     FiFo            2.1v    The Box         1.95*   Burep            1.1
     LED ST          1.00                            ComScan         1.04
     QuickBBS/ST     1.06*                           ConfMail        4.10
                             NodeList  Utilities     Echoscan        1.10
                             Name         Version    FDrenum        2.5.2
     Compression             --------------------    FastPack        1.20
     Utilities               ParseList       1.30    Import          1.14
     Name         Version    EchoFix         1.20    oMMM            1.40
     --------------------    sTICK/Hatch     5.50    Pack            1.00
     ARC             6.02                            Trenum          0.10
     LHARC          2.01i
     PackConvert
     STZip            1.1*
     UnJARST         2.00
     WhatArc         2.02


                             Tandy Color Computer 3 (OS-9 Level II)
                             --------------------------------------

     BBS Software            Compression Utility     Other Utilities
     Name         Version    Name         Version    Name         Version
     --------------------    --------------------    --------------------
     RiBBS           2.02+   Ar               1.3    Ascan            1.2
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 47                  25 Nov 1996


                             DeArc           5.12    AutoFRL          2.0
                             OS9Arc           1.0    Bundle           2.2
                             UnZip           3.10    CKARC            1.1
                             UnLZH            3.0    EchoCheck       1.01
                                                     FReq            2.5a
                                                     LookNode        2.00
                                                     ParseLST
                                                     PReq             2.2
                                                     RList           1.03
                                                     RTick           2.00
                                                     UnBundle         1.4
                                                     UnSeen           1.1

     --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --
     Key to old info:
           + - Netmail Capable (Doesn't Require Additional Mailer Software)
           * - Recently Updated Version
           @ - New Addition
     --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --

     Please send updates and suggestions to: Peter Popovich, 1:363/264

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 48                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                            FIDONEWS PUBLIC-KEY
     =================================================================


     [this must be copied out to a file starting at column 1 or
      it won't process under PGP as a valid public-key]


     -----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
     Version: 2.6.2
     Comment: Clear-signing is Electronic Digital Authenticity!

     -----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----


     Pending a formal decision about including 'encrypted' material inside
     FidoNews from the Zone Coordinator Council, the guts of the FidoNews
     public-key have been removed from this listing.

     File-request FNEWSKEY from 1:1/23 [1:18/14] or download it from the
     Rights On! BBS at 1-904-409-7040 anytime except 0100-0130 ET and Zone
     1 ZMH at 1200-9600+ HST/V32B.

     This section will contain only this disclaimer and instructions until
     a ZCC decision is forwarded to the Editor.

     Sorry for any inconvenience.

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 49                  25 Nov 1996


     =================================================================
                           FIDONEWS INFORMATION
     =================================================================

     ------- FIDONEWS MASTHEAD AND CONTACT INFORMATION -------

     Editor: Christopher Baker

     Editors Emeritii: Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell,
                       Vince Perriello, Tim Pozar,
                       Tom Jennings, Sylvia Maxwell,
                       Donald Tees

     "FidoNews Editor"
         FidoNet  1:1/23
         BBS  1-904-409-7040,  300/1200/2400/14400/V.32bis/HST(ds)

      more addresses:
         Christopher Baker -- 1:18/14, cbaker84@digital.net
                                       cbak.rights@opus.global.org

     (Postal Service mailing address)
         FidoNews Editor
         P.O. Box 471
         Edgewater, FL 32132-0471
         U.S.A.


     voice:  1-904-409-3040 [1400-2100 ET only, please]
                            [1800-0100 UTC/GMT]

     ------------------------------------------------------

     FidoNews is published weekly by and for the members of the FIDONET
     INTERNATIONAL AMATEUR ELECTRONIC MAIL system.  It is a compilation
     of individual articles contributed by their authors or their
     authorized agents.  The contribution of articles to this compilation
     does not diminish the rights of the authors.  OPINIONS EXPRESSED in
     these articles ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHORS and not necessarily those of
     FidoNews.

     Authors retain copyright on individual works; otherwise FidoNews is
     Copyright 1996 Christopher Baker.  All rights reserved.  Duplication
     and/or distribution permitted for noncommercial purposes only.  For
     use in other circumstances, please contact the original authors, or
     the Editor.

                            =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

     OBTAINING COPIES: The most recent issue of FidoNews in electronic
     form may be obtained from the FidoNews Editor via manual download or
     file-request, or from various sites in the FidoNet and Internet.
     PRINTED COPIES may be obtained by sending SASE to the above postal
     address.  File-request FIDONEWS for the current Issue.  File-request
     FNEWS for the current month in one archive.  Or file-request specific
     back Issue filenames in distribution format [FNEWSDnn.LZH] for a
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 50                  25 Nov 1996


     particular Issue.  Monthly Volumes are available as FNWSmmmy.ZIP
     where mmm = three letter month [JAN - DEC] and y = last digit of the
     current year [6], i.e., FNWSMAY6.ZIP for all the Issues from May 96.

     Annual volumes are available as FNEWSn.ZIP where n = the Volume number
     1 - 12 for 1984 - 1995, respectively. Annual Volume archives range in
     size from 48K to 1.2M.


     INTERNET USERS: FidoNews is available via:

                          http://www.fidonet.org/fidonews.htm
                          ftp://ftp.fidonet.org/pub/fidonet/fidonews/
                          ftp://ftp.aminet.org/pub/aminet/comm/fido/

     You can read the current FidoNews Issue in HTML format at:

                          http://www.geocities.com/athens/6894/

     STAR SOURCE for ALL Past Issues via FTP and file-request -
     Available for FReq from 1:396/1 or by anonymous FTP from:

                          ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/

     Each yearly archive also contains a listing of the Table-of-Contents
     for that year's issues.  The total set is currently about 11 Megs.

                                 =*=*=*=

     The current week's FidoNews and the FidoNews public-key are now also
     available almost immediately after publication on the Editor's new
     homepage on the World Wide Web at:

                  http://ddi.digital.net/~cbaker84/fidonews.html

     There are also links there to jim barchuk's HTML FidoNews source and
     to John Souvestre's FTP site for the archives. There is also an email
     link for sending in an article as message text. Drop on over.

                            =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

     A PGP generated public-key is available for the FidoNews Editor from
     1:1/23 [1:18/14] by file-request for FNEWSKEY or by download from
     Rights On! BBS at 1-904-409-7040 as FIDONEWS.ASC in File Area 18.  It
     is also posted twice a month into the PKEY_DROP Echo available on the
     Zone 1 Echomail Backbone.

                                *=*=*=*=*

     Anyone interested in getting a copy of the INTERNET GATEWAY FAQ may
     file-request GISFAQ.ZIP from 1:133/411.0, or send an internet message
     to fidofaq@gisatl.fidonet.org.  No message or text or subject is
     necessary.  The address is a keyword that will trigger the automated
     response.  People wishing to send inquiries directly to David Deitch
     should now mail to fidonet@gisatl.fidonet.org rather than the
     previously listed address.
     FIDONEWS 13-48               Page 51                  25 Nov 1996


                                *=*=*=*=*

     SUBMISSIONS: You are encouraged to submit articles for publication in
     FidoNews. Article submission requirements are contained in the file
     ARTSPEC.DOC, available from the FidoNews Editor, or file-requestable
     from 1:1/23 [1:18/14] as file "ARTSPEC.DOC".  ALL Zone Coordinators
     also have copies of ARTSPEC.DOC. Please read it.

     "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
     trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA 94141,
     and are used with permission.

             "Disagreement is actually necessary,
              or we'd all have to get in fights
              or something to amuse ourselves
              and create the requisite chaos."
                                -Tom Jennings

      -30-


     -----------------------------------------------------------------



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